


Can't you see I love you

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-14
Updated: 2006-04-28
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian loves Justin, but Justin doesn't seem to want Brian. When Justin finally comes to his senses, it seems to be too late.





	1. Too late?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Sorry this is so short, the next part will be a bit longer. I also hope that I didnâ€™t make too many errors. My English isnâ€™t perfekt. So I could need a betaâ€¦. Any volunteers? ;=)  


* * *

He didn’t know when exactly it happened. Brian thought that he wasn’t able to fall in love, but somehow Justin had gotten under his skin, from the first moment on.

Everybody had told Brian that love was a wonderful thing. You would fly to heaven, soar on clouds. You would hear music even if silent was around you. You would feel strong and powerful, manage to do things you have never been able to do before. But HE had always known that this was bullshit and love caused nothing than trouble.

He had been with a lot of men, had some real good fucks, but never felt like to be in heaven. All this time he was looking for something, but he didn’t even know what that something was. Till Justin came. Justin changed everything, even his outlook and view of live.

At first he tried to ignore the feeling, but he caught himself how he observed Justin for hours. The young blond was really more beautiful than all of the guys he used to have fun with.

He began to wonder how it would be to kiss Justin, feel his soft skin under his hand. He wished he could spend the night holding him, or at least lying next to him. He wanted to help Justin when life was getting nasty to him, wanted to protect him from everything bad out there, wanted to comfort him when he was sad, encourage him when he was thinking that he was not good enough as an artist and his pictures would never make it in a big exhibiting.

Too bad only that Justin already had somebody that had taken this job. Wasn’t life ironic? Brian had thought he could have everybody, but just the one that he REALLY wanted ,didn’t want him. He had tried everything to seduce the younger man, but the blond seemed to be immune to his charm and gave him the brush-off - again and again.

It was so probably because Justin was in love with somebody else already. And now it was even worse. Justin wanted to marry his boyfriend next month…

Brian took his glass of Whiskey and looked out of the window into a grey sky. ‘Too late’ was all he c ould think.


	2. Strange doubts

  
Author's notes: Hi! Sorry that I didnâ€™t explain the AU part before. Itâ€™s not a big deal, I just couldnâ€™t send a decent and faithful Justin under the streetlamp, could I? lol. Besides â€œmyâ€� Brian here seems a bit more sensitive than the original characterâ€¦  
Thanks a lot for the reviews, and a special thanks to my beta Friday (Du bist Spitze =))  


* * *

Brian wiped the tears from his eyes. He had to be strong! There was no way that he could let anybody see how hurt he was. He might be heartbroken, but he was still too proud to break down in front of his friends. Besides - even if Justin didn’t want him in a sexual way, he was his friend nevertheless.

Brian had to smile when he thought back to the day when he and the younger man had met for the first time. He had been walking through the city when suddenly it had started to pour with rain. Brian, who had not wanted to get wet and had not found any other shelter, had practically fled into a museum. It had been kind of funny. He had never cared about museums, in fact, he had found them rather boring - till he saw a beautiful blond boy standing in front of an abstract picture.

The young man had seemed so fascinated with the picture although Brian had not even known what it should depict. He had been unable to help himself, he had to talk to the cute art lover. “I wish I could find out what the artist wanted to tell us with this pic,” he had said to him. The blonde had smiled at him and so they had gotten into a conversation.

It was easy to get along with Justin, Brian was astonished. The younger man was not only gorgeous, but also intelligent and seemed to be passionate about his own career as an artist. For the first time, Brian didn’t only think of fucking the boy. Sure, he was attracted to him. Which gay guy wouldn’t be at this sight? But somehow he wanted more - so much more.

However, he had been crushed when Justin had suddenly mentioned his boyfriend that he had been together with for almost 5 years. Still it didn’t stop Brian from trying to seduce the other man. But Justin instead rejected him - friendly, but firmly. “We can only be friends. I’m in love with Ethan,” he always told him.

He had to try to finally accept this. Justin wanted to move to New York anyway. He would live happily together with his husband and have the occupational success he deserved. That should be some consolation for Brian.   
Maybe he could break down then, lonely and hidden from the world, in his loft. He would save his tears for this day.

A few minutes later, Brian went to Debbie’s restaurant. He just wanted to drink a beer with the mother of his best friend. No matter how bad he felt, the elderly woman could always cheer him up with her strange sense of humor.

But this time it was really hard. He just had emptied his first glass when Justin stumbled giggling into the restaurant. On his back his boyfriend was hanging, giggling even more.

“Hey Brian, don’t stand around there. You better help me to shake off this little tick here,” Justin called and shook his body violently, the big grin never leaving his face.

Brian forced himself to smile, too. Seeing his love so happy made it a bit easier for him, even if it wasn’t him that caused this happiness. Maybe he could be a better actor than he thought. Justin wouldn’t see his heart breaking.

“So, you can’t handle this little weak boy? Oh Justin, I’m disappointed. Soon you will be under his thumb, you should reconsider this marriage.” Oooops. Brian bit his lips. He didn’t want to utter his thoughts out loud.   
Sure, he sounded like he was joking. Actually, he was serious.

Strangely enough, he seemed to have caused Justin some doubts. The dead serious face the blond man leered up at the guy on his back with, looked so - so real. “Ethan, what to you think? Should we reconsider our marriage? Perhaps it isn’t such a good idea to bind us that firmly yet?”

Brian expected Ethan to burst out laughing soon, instead he only shrugged. His face had the same insecure, almost sad expression like his lover.

What happened? Was the fantasy running away with him now? Or was it only his hope that gave him irrational interpretations? But he didn’t want to hope anymore! It was too late!

“Okay, now laugh already. Your play is funny, I must admit,” Brian’s fake smile almost reached his ears.

“Why should we laugh? That’s a serious subject,” Justin’s voice sounded monotone and somehow disappointed. Now Brian was sure that he imagined things. Why should Justin be disappointed? There was no reason. He was soon becoming the happiest person on earth…

“Maybe we aren’t meant to be together. What do you think, Brian?” Ethan suddenly asked and hopped from his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Ahm,” Brian swallowed the wrong way and had trouble to hide his confusion. Why did he ask him this question? Just him? Was life testing him yet? How much willpower could he summon up to pursue his aims? To be happy for Justin and not make a scene in front of him? Should he really assure them that everything was okay and push these two people into something that would be the beginning of a lingering death for him?

“Why do you ask me?” He finally pressed out.

“Well, *I* had the impression you had something against this marriage? Is it so? Tell me why.” Justin stared at him. In his beautiful blue eyes something flashed up, something that Brian couldn’t quite interpret.

The older man trembled slightly. Did he show his despair and rejection too clearly when Justin talked to him about his wedding plans? And now Justin hoped that he was wrong and Brian was happy for him instead. No matter what, Brian knew that Justin considered him as a good friend and didn’t want to see him unhappy.

“Why should I be against this marriage?” Brian could kick himself for how bitter he sounded. But he couldn’t help himself. It was hard to show happiness while your heart was breaking. “I love to hear that you finally found somebody you can share your life with. I was a bit surprised when you told me about your wedding plans a while ago. And I forgot to say ‘Congratulations!’. So..” Brian spontaneously embraced Justin tightly. His face beamed for a moment. It was so good to feel his beloved’s warm body in his arms. He could stay there forever, pretending he was his. For a few precious minutes he was content with his life. He pressed Justin even closer to him, crushed him almost. Justin was his - HIS - and he wouldn’t let him go…

The blonde struggled slightly. His breathing was heavy, and Brian noticed that he got carried away a bit. Justin must have gotten suspicious already. He had to let him go. Unintentionally he pushed him away more roughly than   
he had intended.

Justin looked angry for a moment before the expression of his face showed that sort of insecurity again.

“Okay, I’m glad you can be happy for me. Really, it means a lot to me, Brian. I’m sure you too will find somebody that you can spend the rest of your life with.”

‘I don’t think so,’ Brian thought, but this time he didn’t make the mistake to voice his thoughts.

“Well, I actually wanted to give Debbie the invitation card to our wedding. But since you are here I can give yours to you as well.” Justin took out a colorful card that he had decorated himself.

“Thanks,” Brian mumbled and had to resist the urge to throw the card into the next waste bin. There was no way that he could go to this wedding.

After a short cosy chat with Debbie, Justin suddenly took his boyfriend by the hand and made a rush for the exit.

“You know Justin, I don’t understand you,” Ethan hissed angrily as soon as Brian couldn’t see and hear them anymore, “Since a few days ago, you are so strange to me. I thought you would be happy to marry me, but now I’m not so sure anymore. Why do you always ask me if it is the right thing to do?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I have any doubts. I’m just a bit too nervous, I guess. It’s a big step. But I want to go this way with you, babe.“ Justin took the other man into his arms. He was happy about their wedding. Wasn’t he? Why only did he have to convince himself again and again then?


	3. Tough guy

  
Author's notes: Sorry that I am such a slow writer. =( I just don't find that much time as I wanted to. Special thanks to Friday again.   


* * *

Hell, what was wrong with him? Justin shook his head. He had always been so sure about his marriage with Ethan. Well, that was until he met Brian. Since then he had some strange doubts. It was so confusing. He had thought that Ethan was the love of his life. Why only did he always get weak in the knees when he saw Brian? Was he just a weak guy?

It was so terrible when Brian hit on him. Not because it was disgusting - on the contrary, because it wasn’t!

No, he couldn’t be weak, he didn’t want to give up his happiness and safe future because of some stupid feelings. He knew he had to be tough or he would lose Ethan. If it meant that he couldn’t be friends with Brian anymore - so be it! Maybe it was even better if Brian hated him, then he wouldn’t try his devastating charm on him anymore.

“Eth, don’t worry. You are the only one for me. I’m sure that I want to spend my life with you. I promise I won’t question about our wedding anymore.”

“Okay, you know that I have to go to work now, “ Ethan sighed, finally accepting Justin’s answer. “Make a nice dinner when I come home tonight. I think we could need some romance,” he said and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek.

 

“What was that? Why did Justin run away? Did you say anything wrong?” Brian asked Debbie when he had ordered another beer.

The red-haired woman shrugged. “I only said to him that he looked unhappy. I mean, I have already known this boy for a while. I can tell when he isn’t his usual sunshine himself. So I asked what was wrong with him. Instead of answering me, he suddenly was in a great hurry and ran away. I’m really worried now. And you, my friend, shouldn’t drink that much,” Debbie took his hand and slowly stroked it.

But Brian wasn’t aware of it. His mind was somewhere else. Justin’s behavior was very strange indeed. Did this mean he wasn’t as happy about this marriage as he had thought? Brian bit his upper lip. Did he still have a chance? There was only one way to find out!

“I have to go. Sorry, Debs. See you,” Brian put his glass back on the counter and headed for the exit.

Debbie shook her head. Why did everybody run out of here today?

 

The loud knocking on the door startled Justin. Who could that be? He didn’t expect any visitors today. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a sinewy traveling salesman. He still had a lot to do. Their fridge was empty and he wanted to prepare a wonderful candlelight-dinner for a lovely night at home. He couldn’t afford to waste his time getting rid of an unwelcome seller.

When he saw the person that stood outside, he almost wished it had been a sales representative. Then it would have been easier to shut the door again.

“Brian, what are you doing here?” Justin sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I have to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Justin moved out of the way, “I hope it is important. I don‘t have that much time.”

“Juju, I have noticed that you are not as happy as you should be. And I think it has something to do with me,“ Brian came straight to the point. “I know you always deny it, but I’m sure you are attracted to me. And Justin, I could make you so happy,” he used his most seductive voice. A voice like velvet that caressed Justin’s ear.

He tenderly rubbed Justin’s shoulders as if he had to console him. When the young man turned to him he could see the hard lines in Brian’s face. He seemed so troubled, but also mad and annoyed.

“I’m fine,” Justin mumbled after a moment charged with tension, “You can leave me alone now.”

“No, that’s not what you want.” Brian let his fingers tenderly glide over Justin’s arm. The blond noticed that his hand was suddenly placed on Brian’s neck. How did his happen? he asked himself. The older man instead took   
advantage of the situation and bent his head until their lips almost touched.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered.

“Do you really think that everybody would swoon over you?” Justin became angry now, angry with himself and those stupid weak knees again. “Get it! You are not everybody’s wet dream! God, I have never met anyone who is as full of himself as you!”

“Oh no, come on, Justin. You cannot really want this smarmy, greasy creep. That stupid kid can't be the man of your dreams!” How could he say something like that ? Brian was shocked with himself. Sure, he couldn’t stand Ethan, but offending him in front of his boyfriend was not one of his best ideas. He must have completely lost his mind. Of course Justin wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t expect, however, that something would snap in the blond.

“I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Get out of my sight and leave me alone! And by the way, I hate it when you call me Juju!” Justin yelled. He pushed Brian roughly in the back, literally sending the other man stumbling out of the apartment. Before Brian could even turn around, the door was already slammed shut behind him.


	4. A fight

  
Author's notes: Hi! Finally I can post the next chapter. (I'm slow, I know) Sorry for some "bad words" in this chapter. Couldn't resist to use my book "Insults in 6 languages", lol. I also hope I found the correct American expression for them. My beta and I haven't been sure. So forgive us if some words are British. =)  


* * *

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, Justin cursed. The encounter with Brian had really ruined his mood. He could only sit down and stare at the wall. After a while, the anger inside him exploded and he began to smash the crockery on the floor. Suddenly he noticed that he would not only have to buy food, but new kitchenware as well. And on top of everything, he wasn’t hungry at all. No, they had to postpone the romantic candlelight-dinner. ‘And it was Brian’s fault again’, Justin thought. ‘This is the last time that you ruin something for me, Kinney,’ he said to himself and threw another plate against the wall.

“I’ll be a tough guy,” he mumbled, more to convince himself that this was what he wanted and that he wouldn’t forget it.

 

And he didn’t forget it. The meaning of a tough guy for Justin was to be an ass towards Brian. At first he felt kind of uncomfortable in his new role, but he soon was getting to LOVE it. He loved the looks he was getting from Brian and also from his friends that showed espect. He now was not the shy little boy anymore everybody could take advantage of. Not that they often did that, but sometimes it just had been too hard for him to say no. The best thing though was that he got his way - Brian no longer approached him, trying to get round him. He was almost content when the smile on Brian’s face disappeared and didn’t come back anymore.

Justin suddenly loved to be in a bad mood and not to be weak and too emotional. The most fun was to scream at Brian though. It was almost comical to see the other man being afraid of him. Brian Kinney showed fear. He liked   
that thought. The brunet couldn’t be as unfeeling as he always claimed.

 

A few days later, Justin went to Debbie’s again. He just wanted to grab something for dinner before he headed home when he saw Brian. The man slumped down on counter, head on his hands, eyes fixed on his glass of whiskey.

He looked so sad that Justin felt a strange ache in his heart. Maybe he had been too rude to the other man? For the first time in days he felt bad about his behavior. He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to apologize and take Brian into his arms. He sighed deeply and went over to the brunet.

“Hi. I just wanted-,” Justin began and searched through his brain for the right words. Shit, what should he say now?

Brian turned around and stared at him as if he was the eighth wonder of the world.

For a moment Justin felt as if he was lost somewhere in the depths of those big green-brown eyes. Almost automatically he bent his head forward and...

“Juju,” Brian whispered.

There it was again! The effect was like a cold shower and Justin came to his senses again. How he hated this name! It made him feel like a little boy that nobody could take seriously. That BRIAN couldn’t take seriously. My god, he had almost kissed the tears from Brian’s face. He should be grateful that the brunet always seemed to say the wrong thing.

Justin bit his lip, inwardly steeling himself. He had to say something nasty to drive away the sensual spark that was lying in the air.

“Feeling pity for yourself, old man? I guess to you drinking is the only solution for everything. But of course, what can you expect from a third-class, useless twit.”

“I don’t know what has gotten into you lately. You have changed so - so much. It’s not acceptable anymore.” From one moment to the other Brian decided to have a serious word with Justin. And typically of him, he had to translate his ideas into some form of action immediately - no matter what.

“So? What do you mean? Do I get on your nerves? Do you spend every night thinking of how to endure me the next day?”

Seeing Brian’s shaken face Justin only snorted, “Good! That’s what I wanted!”

“Why? What have I done to you?” Brian pressed out when he finally remembered again that he had the ability to speak.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Justin glared at the brunet. “Of course you don’t get it. Why do I ask? You are so damn ignorant! You are always too busy with yourself to notice other people’s feelings. Little self-centered bastard!”

“That’s not true and you know it! I do care for other people! I care for Gus, Lindz, the guys - and even...,” Brian swallowed the last word. He wouldn’t tell Justin now that he still had feelings for him. He still had some pride. Damn it!

“Even who?”

“Not you!” Brian spat out. “I couldn’t care less for such an immature toe rag! I really wonder why I never noticed before that you have a screw loose. Go home and fuck your stupid shit-stick there. You truly deserve each other.” He was almost content that he could rile Justin. That was until he felt the other man collaring him.

“If you don’t stop talking shit about my boyfriend, I will hurt you. Badly,” Justin hissed and spat into his face. If Brian wasn’t beside himself before, now he surely was.

The brunet looked as if he was about to knock the younger man down. It was enough, Debbie decided to intervene.

“Stop it!” She ran around the counter and pushed her way between the two fighters. “If you want to beat each other up, then get out of here! I don’t want you to scare away my guests!”

“Don’t worry, Debs. I won’t get my fingers dirty because of this little asshole,” Brian hissed and left the restaurant. A few minutes later, Justin followed.

“I don’t know what happened between those two, but it has become impossible to bear. We have to do something, make them like each other again,” Debbie sighed, still shocked about the events of this evening.

Emmett, who stood next to her, shook his head. “Oh sweetie, I’m afraid we can’t help here anymore. Let’s hope that Justin goes to New York soon. Otherwise I have a feeling that a catastrophe will happen.”


	5. One last try

Brian stood on the roadside in front of the restaurant and kicked some stones to let out his anger. It didn’t help very much though, especially not when a certain blond came into his view.

“You are still here?” Justin was surprised. He had hoped that the other man was already gone, so he didn’t have to deal with him anymore.

“Do you have anything against it?” Brian snapped back.

“Of course I have! Because I’m so sick of you! I wish I had never met you!” Justin nearly killed the other man with his eyes. “You dirty old man, if you won’t stop hitting on me, I’ll make you a few inches shorter! Did you understand me!”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself! Even with a few inches less, I would still have more than you. And I would never hit on you. What should I do with a man who couldn’t even pleasure me?”

“Ha, ha, very funny, asshole. I know exactly that you would take every chance to touch me with your dirty hands. Argh!”

Brian clenched his fists. He had to go, before he would really touch the other man, but not in a pleasant way. So he turned around, still fuming like a steamroller.

***  
Their tongues danced in a sweet battle of love. Their mouths were pressed together as if they were glued together. In addition to that, loud pleased moans filled the bathroom.

“Shhh…” Brian grinned when he released Justin’s mouth for air. “Somebody could hear you. And how should we explain to the people that we make out in the restroom of the museum of fine arts? Think of our image and the shocked faces of the noble visitors - although when I think of it, it’s one more reason.” With these words Brian captured the lips of the younger man again.

“You have too many clothes on,” Justin whispered finally. He unzipped Brian’s pants and pushed them down to his ankles. Then the blond went on his knees and...  
***

Brian awakened with a start from his erotic dream. God, he was going crazy. Not that dreams of Justin haunted him every night, no, now the places they had sex were getting funnier every time, too. Was this a sign? Had he given up too soon?

He wiped the sweat off his forehead. He had to do something. Fighting with Justin didn’t get him any further. If he really wanted to win the younger man's heart, he had to seduce him, but this time he had to make it more clear. He had to show Justin with some action that only he could make him happy. It was kind of pathetic, Brian admitted to himself. But so what? Love could turn men into real fools. If he got rejected again, he would give up though. Forever.

After making this promise to himself, Brian swung his long legs out of the bed and trotted into the bathroom to take care of the little problem that his last dream had caused.

A few minutes later Brian was already dressed in some sexy tight jeans and a shirt that clung to his body like a second skin. A last look in the mirror told him that he looked good enough to tackle his mission.

He drove to Justin’s and Ethan’s apartment and waited in a hidden corner till Ethan finally left the building to go to work. Then he entered the staircase. Fortunately, the door downstairs was never locked, so he could go directly to Justin’s front door.

“Oh god, Brian. Not you again. You are really getting on my nerves!” Justin was tempted to slam the door into his face, but Brian had already put a foot into the crack of the door.

“I have to talk to you...” He said, but at the same moment he became aware of the fact that he wouldn’t find the right words. Damn, he had not even prepared a speech. How could he have been so stupid? So he did the only thing he could do in this situation. He put on a seductive face and hoped that it would work somehow.

And this time it did work. Justin wished Brian wouldn’t have that special look in his eyes. Not even Ethan’s eyes could make him that weak. It was horrible. How should he resist now? He felt like a rabbit that was being hypnotized by the gaze of a snake. Before he could even react Brian had suddenly grabbed him and pressed his lips on his mouth.

Justin tried to push the other man away, but Brian was stronger than him, and eventually he gave in.

In fact, Justin's biggest fear came true - he enjoyed the kiss. Too much. But what harm could it do? He would just consider it a goodbye kiss. A VERY LONG goodbye kiss.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Only a loud yell could interrupt their kiss. “I just came back because I had forgotten a file. And now I have to see this!” A very angry Ethan put his hands around Brian’s belly. Attempting to drag away the tall brunet from his boyfriend, he lost his hold. He fell to the ground, but still managed to pull the other man with him.

“You asshole! What has come over you! Justin is mine! Do you understand? MINE!!” In his enormous rage, Ethan hit Brian’s face with his fists - again and again. The shocked brunet had no chance to react, and when Justin   
finally could push his boyfriend away, Brian was already unconscious.

“God, what have you done!” Justin whispered, looking at Brian’s bleeding nose and burst lips in shock. “How could you lose control of yourself like that? You should finally learn to control your anger.” Justin bent down and gently stroked Brian’s cheek.

“Oh god, Ethan!” He suddenly yelled, his voice trembling terribly. “I think Brian isn’t breathing anymore!”


	6. Seems to be over

  
Author's notes: Finally a quick uptade. Yes, wonders happen... =) A special thanks to my beta Friday again who made my English understandable, lol.  


* * *

The clock in the hospital was ticking way too loudly. For Justin it seemed like an eternity since the door of the examination room had been closed. He had almost managed to infect the calm doctor with his panic. That’s why a nurse had pressed a syringe into his arm to sedate him. And now he was sitting in the waiting-room in an uncomfortable chair and stared at his hands.

“You know, since we are moving to New York anyway, I thought of quitting my lousy office-job and becoming a professional violin player.“

“Ahm, what?“ Justin had trouble focusing on what Ethan was saying.

“Yes, I could go to the New York music academy. Perhaps I will find a better teacher there than Mrs. Mousle who told me that I didn’t have any talent at all.“

“Ethan! Do you really think this is the right time to discuss that? Brian could die. DIE!!“ Justin almost screamed. How could his boyfriend be so insensitive? “Do you know what that means? You will be a murderer! Then you can play the violin in prison. I’m sure your fellow prisoner won’t appreciate that very much,“ he added softly. To tell the truth, he had never been a fan of Ethan’s playing. Sometimes he even thought the best place for Ethan’s violin was the fireplace. As long as the other man was happy he didn’t complain though. But at the moment he couldn’t care what made Ethan happy.

+++

“MICHAEL!! We won’t arrive at the hospital alive. Watch out, we are not the only car on the street!“ Debbie shouted and held a hand over her eyes.

“Shit, we should get police patrol lights next time. So we could go faster through this terrible traffic!“ Michael wildly pressed the car’s horn. “I’m going crazy if I don’t know soon how Brian is doing. Justin’s call didn’t sound so good.“ He pulled the steering wheel around and continued to drive on the sidewalk.

“Next time??!“ Lindsay shrieked from the backseat. “You think something like that will happen again?“

“With Ethan you never know. I never trusted him. If something happens to Brian, I will kill the little fiddler with my own hands!“ Michael hissed.

 

“How is he doing?!!“ Three people screamed at the same time. Michael, Debbie and Lindsay who had run through the long empty corridor just arrived when the doctor stepped out of the examination room.

“One of you can see him now. Your fiancée-,” he began, but Michael interrupted him with an anxious, but hopeful “Yes?“

“Oh, I thought you were his fiancée?“ The doctor stared at Justin in confusion.

“Since when are you engaged to Brian?“ Michael turned around just as bewildered. “I thought if anyone could see him now, it would be me. I’m the one who’s closest to him and almost like his fiancée.”

“Well, I told them I was his fiancée and Ethan his best friend, so they gave us a lift in the ambulance,“ Justin shrugged. Was that important now? He had not been able to think of a better reason to be allowed to accompany Brian to the hospital.

“However, the patient-,” the doctor began to speak once again.

“What is with Brian?“ Lindsay couldn’t help but scream.

“Please, don’t tell me that’s his third fiancée,“ the doctor’s jaw dropped. “How many lovers does he actually have?“

“Believe me, doctor, you don’t want to know,“ Debbie allowed herself a slight smile.

“I see,” the doctor smiled back. “However, there is no reason to worry. Mr. Kinney is okay. The injuries weren’t as bad as they looked. His breathing stopped briefly, but fortunately it was not long enough to cause any damage. We will keep him here for a day and a night for observation. But I think he can go home again tomorrow. Mr. Taylor? You can go to see your fiancée now.“

“But he isn’t-,” Michael was about to protest, but Debbie put her hand over his mouth. “Shut up. Let him go. Maybe he will get along with Brian again. They haven’t been very good friends lately.“

“Do you really want to go in there? It’s Michael’s job, not yours. I don’t want you near Brian anymore.“ Ethan had grabbed Justin’s arm and hissed into his ear.

“Ethan, if you don’t want to go to jail, then let me talk to Brian,“ Justin whispered back, so that nobody else could hear him. “You know, if he institutes legal proceedings they will charge you.“

“You have 10 minutes. He is still weak and needs to rest.” The doctor led Justin into the room where Brian was lying. Everything around him looked peaceful, but also like a grave - cold, naked and desolate, yet at the same time tranquil.

Justin took Brian’s cold hand. “Hey, how are you? You scared us.“

“As you can imagine, I felt better once,“ Brian could hardly get the words out and Justin had to come closer to understand him.

Brian saw Justin’s worried face and decided to lighten the mood. “Ethan has a good punch. He better start a career as a boxer. He surely has more talent for that.“

“Brian, don’t joke about it. He had no right to beat you. I hope you can forgive him. Brian, I have to ask you to do me a big favor,“ Justin looked at the other man with big wet eyes. “Please, don’t report an offence. I don’t want Ethan to have to appear in court. Please, Brian. Help us. Help me. I would always be grateful to you.“

Brian was afraid that Justin was only sweet to him because he was worried about his boyfriend. Even in this situation, he only thought about the well-being of that thug and not of him, the victim. At this moment, something became clear to Brian and he felt his heart breaking all over again. Justin would never love him. He closed his eyes and wished he had died.

“Brian? Brian? What is your decision?“ Justin whispered.

No, he wouldn’t report an offence. Sure, it was kind of dumb, but if it made Justin happy, he would have to do without his revenge. Wasn’t love about making the other person happy even if it killed yourself inside? Besides, who could resist those beautiful pleading blue eyes? He surely couldn’t.

“Okay. I won’t do anything. Don’t worry.“

Justin knew how hard it must have been for Brian to say these words. A warm feeling spread through his heart and he gently squeezed the brunet’s hand. “Thanks.“

+++

Three days later, Justin and Ethan fled to New York. Michael and the others could hardly hide their disgust with Ethan. Nobody could forgive him for what he had done to Brian. So, finally, Justin decided that the only way to protect Ethan was to run away with him. They even could move earlier into the apartment they had found. So everything seemed perfect for them.

Brian was released from hospital and back in his cold dark loft. He had been lucky that his injuries were harmless and his wounds wouldn’t leave scars. The pain in his heart the doctor couldn’t heal though.

Now Brian was together with his old close friend, the only one that still could comfort him - Jim Beam. So it was over now. Brian didn’t bother to hold back the tears that threatened to leave his eyes and grabbed his bottle   
to take a long swig.


	7. Breaking up...

  
Author's notes: Okay, I confess the story doesn't go as I originally planned. And somehow I don't find an ending... However, I thougt it was time to torture Justin a little bit too. =) Thanks a lot for all the reviews!   


* * *

Two months later, in Justin’s and Ethan’s apartment:

Justin was sitting at the window and stared at the colorful bustle outside. Even in the early morning everybody in the city seemed busy already.

“Hey Justin, darling, why are you sitting by the window again? Come back to bed,” Ethan wailed. “What’s wrong with you? We haven’t had sex for about 8 weeks. Hell, we do not even cuddle anymore since we moved to New York.”

“Oh, I just love to watch the running people out there. It makes me feel alive.”

“Hey, come back into my arms. I can make you feel alive too.” Ethan tried to sound seductive and rolled around in bed naked, but Justin ignored him. His thoughts were miles away.

He felt so bad, couldn’t get Brian’s sad face out of his head. Why did he act so stupidly, as if he wouldn’t care about the older man? He had been so scared when he saw the other man lying lifeless on the ground, but he was even more scared for himself because, at this instant, he had realized that he was in love with Brian. He had had that *suspicion* for a long time already, but had always successfully pushed his feelings away. He had heard so many stories about Brian, the way he tricked and threw out his lovers after a night of passion. Justin didn’t want to be a one-night-stand. And he surely didn’t want to give up a solid relationship for a night of hot sex, no matter how tempting it was.

Brian had tried to convince him that he was serious, but Justin didn’t want to believe him and rejected him. He had assumed that it was just another trick to get him into bed. So it was almost logical to him when he had told him about his forthcoming marriage that Brian didn’t seem to be very upset. Justin took it as a sign that the brunet didn’t have these kind of feelings for him. He had been strangely disappointed about it though.

Then that day at the hospital came. When Brian didn't press charges against Ethan, Justin had finally believed that Brian loved him. Still he had been so shocked and confused about the fact that he hadn’t realized it before. He hadn’t been sure what to do, but protecting Ethan seemed the right thing to do nevertheless. The two of them had been together for such a long time. He couldn’t think of another life, a life without Ethan. But now he could not even touch his boyfriend anymore.

How did his life become such a mess? He could hardly concentrate on his paintings. It felt like he had lost the joy and interest in it. And the worst part was that you could also see in his pictures that the inspiration was missing. No wonder that his last exhibition was a disaster. His new boss had even threatened to fire him if he didn’t make an effort and find back to old form.

He should have stayed in Pittsburgh. He had not been very successful over there either. He could only show some of his pictures in minor exhibitions, but he had been happy because he could work without pressure and he knew he had been a good artist.

He couldn’t grow old here in New York. That was clear to him now. He missed his family, his friends and mostly Brian. It was hard after such a long time, but he had to break up with Ethan. Maybe they could stay friends - but their time as boyfriends was definitely over! He would go back and apologize to Brian. He was sure that the brunet would forgive him and they could live happily together. Justin knew it sounded kind of kitschy. Still he really didn’t wish for anything else at the moment but a happy life with Brian.

“What’s wrong with you, Justin? You cancelled our wedding, you don’t sleep with me anymore. You hardly talk to me. Why do you withdraw from me? Don’t you love me anymore?” Ethan was getting angry now. He wanted his old boyfriend back. The boyfriend that didn’t ask too many questions and always did what he told him.

“No, I don’t love you,” Justin responded without thinking.

“So, that’s it! You have another man! You are cheating on me!”

Ethan’s outburst scared Justin. He turned around and stared at the red face of his soon to be ex-boyfriend. “What?”

“You heard me, Justin. I’m not dumb, I know why you don’t touch me anymore. You're trying to cheat on me. But I won’t permit that. You are mine, and only mine!”

“Eth, please. Calm down! I don’t want to fight with you. I didn’t cheat on you, you should know me better. I would never do that to you! But I have to be honest with you. It’s, well, I fell in love with somebody else.”

“God no! You want to break up with me?! How can you do that after all those years? We belong together.” Ethan seized Justin and started to shake him violently.

“Ouch, stop! You’re hurting me! You can’t change my feelings, especially not with violence!”

“So that’s it? You just decided not to have any feelings for me anymore?! Then go! Leave immediately! Take your crap and get lost! I don’t want to see you ever again!”

“I didn’t decide it. It just happened. You can’t decide whom you fall in love with!” Justin was shocked at Ethan’s reaction. He really did want to part as friends and he had hoped that the other man would understand him. Obviously he had been wrong. On the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel relieved as well. Sure, he didn’t want to leave that soon, but apparently Ethan wouldn’t give him a choice. At least it was officially over now and he could start with his new life.

Maybe he would be able to talk to Ethan about everything later when the other man had calmed down again. At the moment it was impossible. Justin took his suitcase and carelessly threw some clothes and necessary belongings   
into it before he took the next cab to the airport.

He couldn’t wait to be in Brian’s arms. Just the thought made him smile while he looked at the clouds a few hours later.

*****

Justin was nervous and excited when he knocked at Brian’s door.

“You?” To say that Brian was surprised was surely the understatement of the year. At first he thought he was hallucinating and had to blink several times. As the figure that looked like Justin didn’t disappear, he slowly became aware that the younger man really stood in front of him.

“Hi, here I am!” Justin cringed inwardly at his own words. He sounded like a complete idiot.

“I see. And what do you want?” Brian still felt like he was in a movie. This couldn’t be real, could it?

“I want to apologize. I know I behaved like an asshole. I didn’t mean it. I was just too confused about my own feelings. Can you forgive me and we can start all over again?”

“You mean, like boyfriends?”

“Yes, exactly. I’d like that.”

“What about Ethan?”

“He kicked me out because...“

“And now you think you can move in with me?” Brian interrupted as his look fell to the suitcase next to Justin.

He couldn’t believe that Justin really dared to show up at his door. Was he coming back because it didn’t work out with Ethan? Brian felt a mixture of pity and anger. Sure, he felt sorry for Justin. He didn’t want the blond to get hurt. At the same time he was angry. It seemed Justin had only come back because Ethan threw him out. Damn, if that didn’t make him feel like a consolation prize! No, he was worth more than that!

“Did you really think I would wait for you forever? Hell, Justin, no! Don't be so naive and finally grow up! You are too late. I have another man in my life now. Somebody who can give me what I need,” Brian spat and slammed the door into Justin’s face.

Shit. Justin stared at the closed door with tears in his eyes. That wasn’t planned. God, he had been so sure that Brian would take him back. But now? He felt like a little dumb schoolboy. Now he didn’t have a job, no boyfriend, no home. He was standing there all by himself, with no idea where to go or what to do. He never felt more alone in his life.


	8. Together or not together?

  
Author's notes:

Hi, here is the next chapter finally. I know the ending is not the nicest one. But chapter 9 then will definitely be the last one... So you will soon know how this story ends. (although I'm not quite sure yet how I want to end it, lol)

Thanks for the reviews. And a special thanks to Friday. Hope you get well soon!

* * *

Damn! Damn! Damn! Brian let himself fall against the door. Why had Justin come back now to ruin his life again? He had tried so hard to forget about the younger man and he had just started to succeed in some way. His life was slowly getting back to normal and now he felt as if everything was falling apart again.  
  
Of course he didn’t have another man in his life. He couldn’t fall in love twice in such a short time. Hey, he had never really fallen in love before Justin came along. But the blond didn’t need to know that.  
  
However, Brian suddenly got a bad conscience. In his shock he probably had slammed the door too fast. After running away with Ethan and practically leaving him in the lurch, Justin certainly didn’t have many friends anymore. Brian cursed himself that he still cared too much for the younger man, but he couldn’t let him go without asking him if he needed help. When he finally opened the door again, the blond was already gone though.  
  
*****  
  
Justin was sitting on a bench in the park nearby and counted the money that was still left in his wallet. There was no way it would be enough to stay in a comfortable hotel for a few days. But he needed a safe place where he could figure out what to do with his life now. He didn’t have a choice, he had to swallow his pride and call his mom. She was the only one he still trusted in his hopeless situation.  
  
“I’m glad you came home even if I don’t understand why you broke up with Ethan. I really liked this guy and I have been looking forward to your wedding.” Jennifer took Justin’s suitcase when she followed him into his old room. Everything was still as if her son had never left home.  
  
“Guess it will take a while till I settle down,” Justin shrugged. He wasn’t in the mood to discuss this subject now. He just wanted to lay down in his bed and think about how to win Brian back. Yes, he couldn’t give up so easily. He had to make the older man see that he really loved him. And then, he had to resume his studies at PIFA. With a good degree it would probably be easier to find a decent job or get some commissions as a independent artist. It would be so great if he would be able to keep his independence. No boss that could shoo him around and make him work under pressure. He was sure that his pictures would only have that certain something if he actually was in the mood to paint.  
  
If only his problem with Brian would be just as easy to solve. He had no idea how he could make the other man trust him again. And then there was still this mysterious man that he had to get rid of. He hoped that Brian was not really in love with his new boyfriend.  
  
‘Boyfriend’. The word alone let a cold shiver run down Justin’s back. How could Brian only throw himself into a relationship? Justin had secretly hoped the brunet would wait for him a little longer. Two months weren’t that long, were they? Justin wished he had come to his senses a little earlier though. Nevertheless, it didn’t mean that he would give up now! He would get a grip on his life again and get Brian. The unknown man with Brian, whoever it was, could start to look for another partner!  
  
The young man clenched his fists in determination and with a satisfied smile on his lips he fell asleep.  
  
+++  
  
The next days passed calmly. Justin practically threw himself into his new studies. So, for a few minutes, he didn’t have to worry about how to approach Brian. He still had no plan how to get him and it was slowly driving him insane.  
  
One evening, however, Justin decided to go out and have a drink or something. He really needed some distraction and fun. His head was already hurting from all the thinking.  
  
The night was beautiful, a nice fresh wind was blowing when he walked aimlessly through the city. Suddenly, he came across a restaurant. When he looked through the window, his breath stopped for a moment. Brian sat at one of the tables, all by himself. The other place of the table wasn’t set, Brian didn’t even seem to expect any other person.  
  
“This is my chance. It’s now or never!” Justin thought. He sighed nervously and entered the restaurant.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Brian almost leaped to his feet when Justin sat down across him.  
  
“I have to talk to you.”  
  
“I don’t think so. We don’t have to talk about anything anymore. It’s all said.” Brian decided to stay stubborn. He didn’t want to fall for Justin’s charm again. So he beckoned the waiter.  
  
“I will pay and go now,” Brian informed Justin, but before he could say anything to the waiter, the blond guy had already asked for the menu.  
  
“And bring a good bottle of red wine,” Justin grinned and Brian sighed resignedly. There was no way that he could go out of here now without making a scene. So he could have dinner with the other man just as well.  
  
“So, where is your boyfriend?” Justin asked as soon as the waiter was gone.

“My…?” Brian seemed confused for a moment before he remembered his lie. “Oh, he had plans.”  
  
“Did you guys fight?”  
  
“You are pretty nosy,” Brian snorted. He didn’t really know what to say. How could he come up with a story about a man that didn’t even exist?  
  
“Yes, why does he let you go and have dinner alone?” Justin didn’t let up.  
  
“Because, because…he had to work.”  
  
“And you didn’t stay at home, waiting for him?”  
  
“Justin, this is not your business!” Brian was getting angry now. “Why are you here anyway? I didn’t invite you!”  
  
“As I already said. I have to talk to you.”  
  
“But I don’t want -”  
  
“Shhh,” Justin put a finger over Brian’s mouth. “Let me talk.”  
  
“Okay.” The brunet gave up. It couldn’t do any harm to hear what Justin had to say.  
  
“Fine. Ethan kicked me out.”  
  
“You already said that.”  
  
“But you don’t know why he kicked me out.”  
  
“Because he had enough of you?”  
  
“Don’t be so sarcastic. No, it was because I told him that I was in love with another man.”  
  
“Is that true? I mean, that you are in love with another man?” Brian couldn’t believe his ears. Was Justin making some declaration of love to him now?  
  
“Yes.” The blond suddenly became shy and stared down at his hands. “I’m in love with you, Brian.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Of course!” Justin yelled the words, scaring the waiter who almost dropped the bottle of wine in his hand. When the waiter had poured the wine in the glasses, Justin added softly “But I guess, I’m too late, right? I mean, you have another man in your life now.”  
  
“No, no, I haven’t!” Brian blurted out before he could stop himself.  
  
“What?” Now it was Justin’s turn to be surprised.  
  
“I only made him up to get rid of you. I thought that you only came back because Ethan kicked you out. And I didn’t want to be second choice.”  
  
“Oh Brian, we have been so stupid. You were my first choice. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner. Please, give me another chance. I know, I probably don’t deserve it, but I really do love you and I want to show it to you.”  
  
“Let us forget about what happened before. Let us start all over again.” With these words the two men clinked glasses.  
  
+++++  
  
A week later…  
  
“I’m so happy that you are my boyfriend,” Brian smiled and kissed Justin’s lips. He had just  picked up the blond at his home.  
  
“Me too. And hey, where are my flowers!” Justin playfully punched Brian’s arm.  
  
“Nah, only because I have a surprise for you, it doesn’t mean I would do something so ridiculous romantic.”  
  
“But you said it would be a date. So that’s romantic nevertheless,” Justin's laugh suddenly stopped from one second to the other.  
  
A well-known face stared at the two happy men.  
  
“Oh god, Ethan,” Justin breathed. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I want you back, “ the dark haired man said, ignoring Brian.  
  
“Uhm, Eth, I think we have to talk.” Justin looked a bit helplessly at the tall man next to him. “Brian, give me a few minutes alone with him, okay?”  
  
The brunet nodded, not really feeling at ease with the situation. What if Justin got weak again and took his ex-boyfriend back? Brian didn’t think he could take it.  
  
He observed the two men from afar. He didn’t like their animated conversation. They seemed so close to each other again. When he saw Ethan and Justin suddenly embracing tightly, his heart ached. But it was nothing in comparison to the pain he felt when he saw them kissing.  
  
How could he have been so stupid? Brian was on the verge of tears. He had believed Justin, but obviously the blond had lied to him. He still seemed to be in love with his ex-boyfriend. Brian turned around and ran away. It was the last time he would fall for some stupid declaration of love. There was no thing like love, at least not for him. He wouldn’t believe Justin anymore, no matter what excuse he might have this time.  



	9. The end

  
Author's notes:

Okay, I have done it! Yeah! I finally finished this story. I admit, it isn’t such a great chapter, but I’m so glad that I have found an ending. =) (I can’t stand unfinished stories!) So thanks to everybody who enjoyed reading this (IF anybody did at all). And a special thanks to Friday again who helped me to correct my errors.

* * *

The first thing Brian did when he was back in his loft was grabbing a bottle of Jim Beam. He looked at it for a while before he threw it against the wall. He should stop drinking. If he kept drinking every time he was hurt, he would probably end up as an alcoholic. Instead, he curled up in a corner of the kitchen and started to cry. Fortunately, nobody could see how broken he was. He was kind of ashamed that Justin could shatter his pride and make such a mess of him.  
  
A loud banging on the door interrupted his dark thoughts.  
  
“Brian, are you there? Please, open the door! BRIAN!!” Justin’s voice sounded frantic.  
  
“Get lost!”  
  
“Brian, please. Listen to me!”  
  
“Fuck off, Justin! I won’t listen to you anymore! Leave me alone and go with your greasy boyfriend!”  
  
“But Brian, you are my boyfriend.”  
  
Grrrr, Brian didn’t want to hear that. It could only be one of Justin’s lies again. But this time he wouldn’t make it so easy for the blond to make fun of him. So he put his fingers into his ears and shut out Justin’s words.  
  
Outside the loft Justin was slowly giving up. He didn’t know what was wrong with Brian. Well, to tell the truth, he had an idea.  
  
“Brian, it was a goodbye kiss. Do you hear? I kissed Ethan goodbye.”  
  
But of course, Brian wasn’t listening.  
  
*****  
  
Justin was wandering through the rain. It was almost as if the sky cried his tears. Why did everything he did go so wrong lately? He didn’t want to take Ethan back. Their times as boyfriends were definitely over. There was no way back. But he hadn’t wanted to part with the other man as an enemy either. After all, they had spent almost 5 years of their lives together. They had shared some good times and he had not wanted to remember the bad ones only. He had tried to explain it to Ethan today and eventually the other man had accepted his decision somehow. Ethan couldn’t promise to stay his friend though - like Justin had hoped. But one day, when Ethan had found somebody else again…Everything was possible.  
  
Justin had to smile a little bit. It was pretty strange. Only a few weeks ago, he had thought he was in love with Ethan, but now the only thing he felt for him was compassion.  
  
“I should feel sorry for myself too,” the blond thought. The real love of his life was now ignoring him and he felt as if he couldn’t do anything to convince him of his sincerity. Why did he have to kiss Ethan in front of Brian? Justin could kick himself. The kiss had not mean anything to him. It was just one last kiss, but Brian obviously had read more into it. How should he fix that?  


  
During the next couple of days, Justin seemed to be wherever Brian was. Babylon, the diner, the gym, the meetings and parties of his friends. There seemed to be no way for Brian to escape the other man.  
  
”God, don’t you have a life? Don’t you have to go to school or something?” Brian finally snapped one morning. He just wanted to drink his morning coffee at Debbie’s and, of course, Justin was already there again. Brian was slowly getting angry. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able resist the blond.  
  
”Class starts later today. Brian, I really don’t know why you refuse to believe that I love you. Do you see Ethan here? If I wanted to be with him, why am I here and he isn’t?”  
  
Brian became thoughtful. He had to admit, Justin had a point. He swallowed the last drops of his coffee and slammed the cup back onto the counter. He had to go to work now. He couldn’t afford an emotional break-down. He was still afraid of giving in to Justin. He almost expected the other man to burst out laughing when he told him that he wanted to be with him again.  


 

  
”Brian, Brian. Look at the window. There is something you should see.“ Brian’s assistant was looking out of his office window and jumped up and down in excitement.  
  
Brian reluctantly walked over to her and thought he was crazy  - either that, or he needed some GOOD glasses. What he saw couldn’t be true, could it?  
  
In front of their building a little single-engined plane was flying, a big ribbon waving behind it. ‘BRIAN - I LOVE YOU’ could clearly be read on it.  
  
“Well, if this isn’t a wonderful declaration of love, I don’t know what is,” Cynthia smiled brightly. Brian, however, could only stare dumbfounded. Could Justin have been serious this time? There must have been a reason why he told the entire city that he loved him.  
  
After that, Brian couldn’t concentrate anymore and finally he decided to knock off  work earlier and to pick up Justin at PIFA.  
  
“Hi Brian, did you see it?” The young blond suddenly seemed embarrassed.  
  
“Justin, how much did that cost you?” That wasn’t what Brian wanted to ask, but it was the first thing that came out of his mouth.  
  
“It was not cheap. I guess I have made some debts,” Justin looked down at the ground. “But it was worth it!” He declared emphatically. “It seemed to be the only way to show you how much I love you. And, will you take me back?” Justin’s voice was so soft that Brian almost hadn’t heard him.  
  
Brian wanted to torture the other man for a while. After everything that had happened, he thought that he deserved it, but then he decided against it. They had been through so much already. He wasn’t in the mood for any more games.  
  
“Okay,” Brian finally nodded. “I give you one last chance. But don’t ever mess this up again.”  


  
 

*Epilogue*  
  
“God, I thought you’d break down. I have never seen you so pale. But you bravely said your *Yes*," Justin smiled when he and Brian entered their joint apartment.  
  
"Geez, it's the first time I got married - and hopefully the last time, too. Did you notice that all of our guests were looking at me as if I was an alien? And those stupid grins from my friends. Besides, I expected them to choose better music. The music they played sounded like a funeral march."  
  
"Yeah, the guys still can't believe that you are finally settling down. Hey, I also had to ask you three times before you accepted my proposal. And even then, I was still afraid that you would freak out and run away from the ceremony and let me stand alone in front of the altar. My poor heart, never scare me that much again." Justin was only half-joking.  
  
Brian noticed the shadow of discomfort on his husband's face and took him into his arms. "No, no. I'm sorry, I didn't have any doubts that I'm doing the right thing. It’s just…The party was too big. Too many people. And constantly somebody asked me how you caught me. It was kind of unnerving. Besides, I had no time alone with you.”  
  
“Oh baby, don’t pout. Now we are finally alone.”  
  
“I know, I know.” Brian sighed. “But about something else. You know, now that Lindz will soon give birth to our second child, we should think about a name for him or her.”  
  
“If it’s a boy, I already know a name,” Justin teased. “We will call him Ethan.”  
  
“Don’t you dare. If you call him Ethan, I will divorce you,” Brian groaned and tried to pull an angry face.  
  
“Ha, you’d just love that, wouldn’t you? But no, you are stuck with me FOREVER.”  
  
“Is that a promise?”  
  
“Sure,” Justin took his husband by the hand. “But now we have talked enough. Let’s celebrate our wedding night.”  



End file.
